Short Story

Smart Car 33

Strange Bedfellows

Sheila asked Duke “What are you laughing about?”

“I was just absorbing politics on my mindphone. It seems that your old boyfriend Shane could be our next governor.”

“The Inferno you say. Oregon hasn’t had a straight white male governor for at least fifty years.”

“Longer than that, but he has so much going for him. You can’t forget that Shane was as kinky as my old girlfriend Jane. Even if he is straight, he has all that kink going for him, so he gets credit for that. Every chance he gets he mentions that he and Jane do the ‘Fresno Freeze’ every day and twice on holidays. The whole country knows about the Hometown disaster and the indexed universal basic income is starting to lose favor because it depletes the state budget and everything is falling apart. The incumbent governor is sinking in the polls.”

“I should add that I got the better of the exchange when you and I got together and Jane and Shane hooked up.

“Flattery is fine, but back to the topic at hand. You think Governor Ndalla-Gomez should take the fall for the homeless camp that she developed on the coast which was washed away?”

“Makes no difference what I think. I know that she couldn’t have predicted the date of tsunami, but she knew that it was possible. Fifty thousand dead, whether fair or not, can’t help the woman at the top. She takes the blame.”

“Shane has more going for him than the current governor’s problems. You must admit Shane and Jane are drop dead gorgeous. They even have euphonious names and an intriguing life. After Shane left his gay charade, he and Jane have become more popular for their well publicized kinks.”

“You are right about that. After he decided he didn’t need to pretend to be gay to get votes, his ‘intriguing games’ made him more popular. The House of Representatives isn’t big enough; he thinks he can be governor. You missed something else in his favor. People and cars love his replicars. Even our cars love to hang out with Hank, his replica 2006 Mustang. All the cars Josie, Carl, Deuce, and Hank are going to Seattle to see Eugene Springfield and play on his stunt car track. I must concede that a president from the last century was elected on his looks, so it could work for Shane.”

“Did your mindphone tell you who his campaign manager is?”

“It’s Hank, the first non-human campaign manager. It won’t be hard for him to do better than many of the previous managers, and he can double as a PA system. One of the reports mentions his quick wit, political acumen, and singing ability.”

Two days later Josie and Carl report on their trip – 

“Hey guys, we are going to be besties with the next governor’s car.”

Two months later – 

After months of smiling so much his mouth hurt, while Jane and Hank did most of the talking, Shane was elected governor. Sheila and Duke were amused to get invitations to his inauguration. They went camping instead.