Short Story


Langwig report 2019 -2119

During the last hundred yrs gr8 progress has bin mad in Amerikan Langwig. This sa will kover the trendz and landmarks of that period.

The drivers of the khanges wur 2 movements. 1 went undr the banr “If it’s diffikult, it’s not worth doing” whikh led to “The Gr8 Simplifikashun” and the other wuz texting.

The “Diffikult” movement was supportd by neerly every1, but was strongest in akademia. Even the students went along. Sum say the first khang was abandoning kursiv. As with kursiv, manee other similar khanges wur brewing simultaneously. Bekuz no 1 new what affekt or effekt ment, “impakt” was usd xklusivlee. Outsid of historikal dokuments sukh as this, neether arkhaik term haz bin usd sens 2043. Imply and infer had konfused generashuns, so inpler was usd for ether 1, dispit sum preferring imfer. Inspird by texting, your and you’re bekam ur. Problem, disease, injury, error and mistak were effektivlee eliminatd by “isyew” by the 2030’s. A servey indikatd onlee 3% of the populashun understood there, their and they’re so they all bekam ther.

Parts of speekh were improvd by ending the arbitraree distinkshun between verbs and nowns. Mukh earlier, task and impakt were verbd, and ask and reveel were nownd. By 2085 everee verb had been usd as a nown and by 2093 every nown had been usd as a verb. The combinashun bekam nerbs.

Texting had bin a great fors in simplifying and improving the langwidg. Ur, 4, b, and u were promoted by texts. It had added shortkutz sukh as lol, btw, lmfao and other wondrus things. Along with the internet, texting emojis had eliminatd the need 4 most words. Following the peezful robot revolushun of 2098, no human had dun any riting outsid of texts sens 2105. Human aktivitee during the 8 owers awake revolves around watkhing klassik entertainment sukh as “I Married Joan” and eating Doritos. Robots now krea8 all literakher, and do a mukh better job than humans ever did. Kompar “Romeo And Juliet” to “Parents Had Isyews, Kids Died” for xampl.

Bekuz “pre” had bekum larglee usd to mean earlee it’s original use as befor was lost and “prehistoree” bekam simplee “befor historee”.

Kleeshays were skrutinizd in the 2080s. Bekuz they had never bin regulatd, sum rulz wur rekwird. The Kommission kam up with:

Most kleeshays kud not b usd mor than 50 milyon times without being retird for 20 yrs at whikh tim they kud be resurrektd. Klassiks sukh as “On / off my radar” kan b, in fakt shud b, usd at every opportunitee. Basd on this ruling, “wok”, “optiks” and “wok it bak” kan be usd now, but u will have to wat for “groovee”, “lit” and “yo mama”.

1 of the rulz developd over the tim period of this report that defis understanding is the rekwirment to add “kommunitee” after every groop. Peepl speek of “the gravel kommunitee” rather than “gravel”.

The promulgashun of this od rul is lost in antikwitee.

Dispit langwig being larglee standardizd, ther is 1 larg xsepshun. Haf the world recognizes one form of adres – sapien or title – and the other haf has 3,422 depending on amt of opreshun, nationalitee, ethnisitee and khois from 83 gendrs.